Celebrating Small Victories

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Ahh, small victories! They might not seem like much, and far too often we shrug them off as no big deal. Sometimes even simply getting out of bed in the morning is a victory. But is it worth celebrating? Even before my husband and I moved from Denver to a small town in Missouri, I joined a local writers group and enjoyed vibrant email exchanges with the group leader. But after we arrived, I just couldn’t bring myself to attend the monthly meetings, and kept finding excuses why I couldn’t attend. I was unpacking, I was too busy, I was exhausted, I had to do the laundry, walk the dogs, etc. Any excuse would suffice. It took 4 months before I finally put on my big girl pants and drove the 3 short minutes to the coffee shop downtown where the meetings are held. It’s no surprise...

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New Year, New Look, & the Path of Least Resistance

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I’m delighted to announce that Cheryl Ilov International is celebrating the new year with a new name and a new look. Honestly, I never felt comfortable with the name, for several reasons. First of all, it felt pretentious. Next, it certainly didn’t represent the type of work I do. Finally, I wasn’t the one who chose it. Several years ago, in 2017, I had started working with a highly sought after and well known business coach in Denver, who recommended the change to elevate my profile to a higher level. After much convincing, I reluctantly agreed. Then I discovered that all of his clients had the same template; Their Name International. It felt weird, and for several years I thought about changing it. The opportunity came as a blessing in disguise. When I moved to Missouri...

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Ring in the New Year Without the Resolutions

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I am not a huge fan of New Year’s Resolutions, because I believe it sets the stage for high expectations, unrealistic results, and ultimately the feeling of failure. What a terrible way to start a new year! I have a better idea. Many years ago, I heard that what you do on New Year’s Day is what you will do for the rest of the year. I’m not sure if that is true or just a superstition, but isn’t it interesting that our actions on New Year’s Day might set the tone for the rest of the year? It’s an interesting concept, and it made me start thinking. What if, instead of making lofty (and often unrealistic) New Year’s Resolutions, why not flip the script, and focus on the present day, the first day of another New Year, and set the scene for the best year...

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Man Plans, God Laughs

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As I was saying in my previous post, I was living large and loving life, working full time as the day shift supervisor in the Respiratory Therapy department of a local hospital, thoroughly enjoying my single life after swearing off of men and dating forever. Our department was full of young, single women. It was also full of therapists from other hospitals moonlighting at ours, since we had a reputation for paying well and not over-working our employees. As a result, there was a steady flow of applicants showing up for interviews. A lot of those applicants happened to be male, much to the delight of the women in the department. As I was making my rounds one afternoon, my pager went off with a message from the secretary to call the department STAT. STAT….if you’ve ever watched...

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Home Sweet Home

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As I was saying in my previous post, I was living large and loving life in Colorado. It was my home now, and there was no going back. I was in my early 20s, had a good job, a lovely little apartment in a great neighborhood, and access to the best skiing on the planet. Life was great! Then along came boyfriend #2. He was a nice looking guy and fun to be around. At first. Unfortunately, he was also very needy and clingy. Where as boyfriend #1 was controlling and manipulative, this one was trying to smother me to death. Being around him felt like having a python wrapped around my chest. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t go anywhere without him, and if I did, he would whine about it for days on end. As a side note here, a grown man whining is not very attractive or appealing. And definitely...

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Time to Say Good-Bye

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We have all heard that there is a time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance. I’d like to add that there is also a time to leave, and timing is everything. In 1978, just 3 days after graduating college, I left my childhood home, my friends, my family, and the only life I had known in a small steel town in Western Pennsylvania to move to Denver, Colorado. I was 21 years young. Full disclosure, there was a man involved in my decision. One who had my entire life planned out for me without my knowledge, or my consent. He was my first boyfriend. After that relationship I’m surprised he was not my last. He was 4 years older than me, and was constantly telling me what (and what not) to do, as well as how to behave around his friends. Needless to say, I did not...

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We Reap What We Sow

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On a whim I decided to include a small pumpkin plant in my garden this year. My husband was less than enthusiastic, because he remembered the one and only time I planted pumpkin over 20 years ago. The plant spread like wildfire and quickly took over the entire garden. Eventually it began creeping over the back yard to the house. It was almost scary. And we only ended up with one small pumpkin. I told my husband not to worry, because the poor little plant was so small and puny that it probably had only a small chance of surviving. So, I gently patted the tiny plant in the ground, wished it well, and hoped for the best. Every few days I went to the garden, talked to it, and gave it words of encouragement. It worked. It took over the entire garden, started creeping toward the house, and filled...

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Birthdays with Zeros and a 3 Year Plan

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Quite a few years ago, I was honored to teach a weekly Pilates mat class to a group of vibrant senior citizens who also happened to be close friends, and there were two couples in the group as well. They were quite a lot of fun to be around, and had many wonderful insights regarding life and many insights and pearls of wisdom. One afternoon, as they were walking into class and picking their spot on the mat, one of the women casually mentioned that it just happened to be her boyfriend’s birthday, which elicited a low groan from said boyfriend. I gave him a beaming smile and wished him a happy birthday. He responded with another groan, loader this time. I asked him what was wrong. He rolled his eyes and replied, “Birthdays that come with a zero on them are exceptionally tough....

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An Author’s Life and Receiving Reviews

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Nothing puts an author’s teeth on edge quite like waiting for the editorial reviews to start coming in when their book is finally published. These are reviews by unbiased readers giving their honest opinion of the author’s work. I think it’s only fair to share all of my reviews, not just the good ones. So, in the spirit of full transparency, here is the first review the book received last March, just a few weeks after it was released. Reviewed by A. S. for Readers’ Favorite: “I struggled to become engrossed in the book all the way through and was frequently met with reader fatigue. I’m going to leave the first few chapters out of this because they are profoundly raw, honest and, even through the pain expressed, they are beautifully written. However, halfway...

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From Writer’s Remorse to #1 Best Seller

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I am honored and humbled to announce that my second book, “The Reluctant Ninja: How A Middle-Aged Princess Became A Warrior Queen,” hit #1 Amazon Best Seller in not one, not two, but three categories at the end of February, just in time for the first anniversary of its release. On the other hand, the last time I used the word “humbled” when the book won an award, I was corrected by a colleague that the word was inappropriate to use in the context of receiving recognition. Whatever. So, since humbled isn’t the right word, perhaps overwhelmed word be more appropriate. Because it is overwhelming. And humbling, in spite of what my colleague and the dictionary both say. Because when the book was finally published, instead of being delighted, reality hit, and it hit...

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