The End of an Era

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As I said in my previous post, things were finally starting to fall into place. When I woke up Monday morning, the Porcelain Princess was still my traveling companion, but the plumber was coming to finally get it out of my SUV and install it. My husband was coming home from his male bonding road trip, and my Sensei (who had been on a 3 week long road trip with his new girlfriend), was coming home too. It was a trifecta of good news! As one of Sensei’s highest ranking students, I ran the noon classes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays when he was out of town, and this time was no different. Then I realized he had only texted me once at the beginning of his trip to see how classes were going. That was odd. Typically he would text me multiple times a week. Maybe he was in a weird head...

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The Porcelain Princess & The End of an Era

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It’s August, which brings back vivid memories of August one year ago, when my husband and I were in the throes of packing, organizing, purging, planning, and preparing for our move from Denver to a small town somewhere in the middle of Missouri. At least I think it’s in the middle of Missouri. I’m still not sure. Full disclosure, only one of us was deep in the throes of preparing. Having been raised in a tribe which thrives on not only being well-prepared, but over-prepared, I spent hours a day planning our move and deciding what to keep, what to throw out, what to donate, etc. My husband, however, has a more casual attitude, since he was raised in a tribe whose motto was “there’s always tomorrow.” To complicate matters, my husband and a few of his friends...

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Celebrating Small Victories

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Ahh, small victories! They might not seem like much, and far too often we shrug them off as no big deal. Sometimes even simply getting out of bed in the morning is a victory. But is it worth celebrating? Even before my husband and I moved from Denver to a small town in Missouri, I joined a local writers group and enjoyed vibrant email exchanges with the group leader. But after we arrived, I just couldn’t bring myself to attend the monthly meetings, and kept finding excuses why I couldn’t attend. I was unpacking, I was too busy, I was exhausted, I had to do the laundry, walk the dogs, etc. Any excuse would suffice. It took 4 months before I finally put on my big girl pants and drove the 3 short minutes to the coffee shop downtown where the meetings are held. It’s no surprise...

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New Year, New Look, & the Path of Least Resistance

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I’m delighted to announce that Cheryl Ilov International is celebrating the new year with a new name and a new look. Honestly, I never felt comfortable with the name, for several reasons. First of all, it felt pretentious. Next, it certainly didn’t represent the type of work I do. Finally, I wasn’t the one who chose it. Several years ago, in 2017, I had started working with a highly sought after and well known business coach in Denver, who recommended the change to elevate my profile to a higher level. After much convincing, I reluctantly agreed. Then I discovered that all of his clients had the same template; Their Name International. It felt weird, and for several years I thought about changing it. The opportunity came as a blessing in disguise. When I moved to Missouri...

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Ring in the New Year Without the Resolutions

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I am not a huge fan of New Year’s Resolutions, because I believe it sets the stage for high expectations, unrealistic results, and ultimately the feeling of failure. What a terrible way to start a new year! I have a better idea. Many years ago, I heard that what you do on New Year’s Day is what you will do for the rest of the year. I’m not sure if that is true or just a superstition, but isn’t it interesting that our actions on New Year’s Day might set the tone for the rest of the year? It’s an interesting concept, and it made me start thinking. What if, instead of making lofty (and often unrealistic) New Year’s Resolutions, why not flip the script, and focus on the present day, the first day of another New Year, and set the scene for the best year...

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Man Plans, God Laughs

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As I was saying in my previous post, I was living large and loving life, working full time as the day shift supervisor in the Respiratory Therapy department of a local hospital, thoroughly enjoying my single life after swearing off of men and dating forever. Our department was full of young, single women. It was also full of therapists from other hospitals moonlighting at ours, since we had a reputation for paying well and not over-working our employees. As a result, there was a steady flow of applicants showing up for interviews. A lot of those applicants happened to be male, much to the delight of the women in the department. As I was making my rounds one afternoon, my pager went off with a message from the secretary to call the department STAT. STAT….if you’ve ever watched...

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Home Sweet Home

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As I was saying in my previous post, I was living large and loving life in Colorado. It was my home now, and there was no going back. I was in my early 20s, had a good job, a lovely little apartment in a great neighborhood, and access to the best skiing on the planet. Life was great! Then along came boyfriend #2. He was a nice looking guy and fun to be around. At first. Unfortunately, he was also very needy and clingy. Where as boyfriend #1 was controlling and manipulative, this one was trying to smother me to death. Being around him felt like having a python wrapped around my chest. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t go anywhere without him, and if I did, he would whine about it for days on end. As a side note here, a grown man whining is not very attractive or appealing. And definitely...

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Time to Say Good-Bye

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We have all heard that there is a time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance. I’d like to add that there is also a time to leave, and timing is everything. In 1978, just 3 days after graduating college, I left my childhood home, my friends, my family, and the only life I had known in a small steel town in Western Pennsylvania to move to Denver, Colorado. I was 21 years young. Full disclosure, there was a man involved in my decision. One who had my entire life planned out for me without my knowledge, or my consent. He was my first boyfriend. After that relationship I’m surprised he was not my last. He was 4 years older than me, and was constantly telling me what (and what not) to do, as well as how to behave around his friends. Needless to say, I did not...

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We Reap What We Sow

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On a whim I decided to include a small pumpkin plant in my garden this year. My husband was less than enthusiastic, because he remembered the one and only time I planted pumpkin over 20 years ago. The plant spread like wildfire and quickly took over the entire garden. Eventually it began creeping over the back yard to the house. It was almost scary. And we only ended up with one small pumpkin. I told my husband not to worry, because the poor little plant was so small and puny that it probably had only a small chance of surviving. So, I gently patted the tiny plant in the ground, wished it well, and hoped for the best. Every few days I went to the garden, talked to it, and gave it words of encouragement. It worked. It took over the entire garden, started creeping toward the house, and filled...

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Birthdays with Zeros and a 3 Year Plan

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Quite a few years ago, I was honored to teach a weekly Pilates mat class to a group of vibrant senior citizens who also happened to be close friends, and there were two couples in the group as well. They were quite a lot of fun to be around, and had many wonderful insights regarding life and many insights and pearls of wisdom. One afternoon, as they were walking into class and picking their spot on the mat, one of the women casually mentioned that it just happened to be her boyfriend’s birthday, which elicited a low groan from said boyfriend. I gave him a beaming smile and wished him a happy birthday. He responded with another groan, loader this time. I asked him what was wrong. He rolled his eyes and replied, “Birthdays that come with a zero on them are exceptionally tough....

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